All marriages go through problems and my marriage is no exception. That’s why I’m forever thankful that my marriage has lasted this long and continues to grow stronger.
We’ve been through a lot and I’m glad we made a lot of good choices along the way. I think, I believe, one of the choices that helped keep my marriage together was the decision to become a work at home parent. It was a decision that wasn’t taken lightly and wouldn’t have been possible without my husband’s total support and our determination to make it work.
My husband works in a call center and his schedule is often erratic. And before we had our child, there were times that we hardly saw each other. He often works nights and I usually work during the day. And although my previous job offered some flexibility in terms of schedule, it still didn’t give us enough time to really be together.
And that first year after I gave birth was really tough on our marriage. We were having financial, health and family problems. We fought a lot and there were times we literally cried ourselves to sleep because we didn’t know what else to do.
Then my sister offered me a writing job that paved the way for me to becoming a work at home mom.
When I started I was making a lot less than what I was earning in my previous job, but it was enough to make ends meet. Since we didn’t have to spend for child care and I didn’t have any office expenses, what I was making was already a big relief.
But more than that, it also helped lift a huge burden off my husband’s shoulders. Being the sole breadwinner in our family scared him. At that time, our future looked so uncertain and he wasn’t sure what he was earning was enough to provide for all out needs. Me getting that job helped relieve a lot of stress and made us more confident about our future.
The relief from our financial burden was welcome and expected. What we didn’t expect was finally getting that extra time together.
It’s not a perfect set up. We still have to share our time with our daughter. But working at home allowed me to adapt my schedule to his work schedule. I would try to work when he is working so we could be together. I was finally able to wait for him to get home so we could finally talk and just be husband and wife and not Mama and Papa.
And even when I can’t match his schedule (because of our child), I’m still able to make some time for him even if it’s just to talk or take care of him.
Why It’s All Worth It
A while back, I was seriously considering applying for a job and working in an office. It was one of those days where everything went wrong. My daughter was being difficult and I was having a hard time at work. I started to question if the sacrifices I made were worth it and if I was really cut out to be a work at home parent.
After I shared this with my husband, he held my hand and told me that I was doing a great job. “More than that”, he says, “I’m glad you’re a work at home mom. I get to see you and our baby everyday. I look forward to coming home because I know you’re there waiting for me.”
Those words made everything worth it.
- Household Chores: Do They Hurt or Help Your Productivity? (wailingsofaworkathomemom.wordpress.com)