What I Learned From My Daughter About Facing Bullies

What I learned from my daughter

I was waiting with my husband for our daughter to get home from school. When her school service stopped outside our house, I saw our daughter stepping out of the van. As she was grabbing her bag and saying her goodbyes, I saw a little girl shout at our daughter and tell her that she’s ugly.

It was a good thing that my husband restrained me, because my knee jerk reaction was to bring some justice to the situation.

Fortunately, that wasn’t necessary. I’m happy to admit that my daughter is a lot smarter and classier than me. After she heard that, she simply turned around, looked at that mean girl straight the eye and confidently said,

“No, I’m not.”

The she turned around, finished saying her goodbyes to the other kids in the van and walked into our house.

It took all my willpower not to stand up and cheer. I wished I had my camera so I could immortalize the look on that girl’s face. She was stunned. She was put in her place in the best way possible. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring but I’m confident she won’t be trying that on my daughter ever again.

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Bullying 101

As a mother, I know I do have a tendency to overreact when it comes to my child. So let me give you some context to show why bullying is such a serious topic for me and my family.

I was bullied for most of high school. It made school a living hell for me to the point that going to school made me physically ill most days. So imagine how painful it was for me to see my daughter dealing with bullies, in preschool of all places.

This wasn’t the first time that my daughter had to deal with bullies. In her old school she actually had it worse. It gotten so bad that I had to bring the complaint all the way to the school principal because that bully (a boy) gave my daughter (and another girl in that class) a swollen eye.

And this girl that bullied my daughter today, my daughter have complained about that girl before before for being mean to her and her friends.

So at a tender age of 4 years old, I had to teach my daughter how to deal with bullies. I read the books and the articles. We talked about her standing up for herself but not to respond to violence. We talked about telling a grownup and trying to befriend a bully. Theoretically, I know there’s a right way to deal with bullies. But I also know that in the heat of the moment my daughter might react differently. I know I would react differently if I saw this happening right in front of me.

Being Better

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It pains me that this is something that I had to teach my daughter at a young age. But the way she handled it made me so proud. She showed the bully that she was confident and happy with who she is. She showed that girl that no one has the right to label her. She reminded me, again, that it doesn’t matter what the world thinks. You define who you are. The rest can burn in hell.

 

I don’t know what the future brings. I don’t know if this is something she will always remember or whether she’ll eventually succumb to the insecurities that plague womanhood. I don’t know if what she did would make things better or worse for her in the future. What I know is that for now, she’s happy, she’s confident, she feels good, and she better clean up her room if she wants ice cream for dessert.

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Julia Jasmine Sta Romana
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Julia Jasmine Sta Romana

Julia Jasmine Sta Romana is a writer, content development specialist and enterprise development trainer. She likes to write about science and technology, education, parenting, food, and always looking for ways to make working at home an easier and more fulfilling experience.
Julia Jasmine Sta Romana
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